The Great Michael Owen Mystery

January 23, 2012 by

Coming to Brighton?

It’s right up there alongside Death On The Nile, Murder On The Orient Express, and other mysteries. Is Michael Owen coming to Falmer? Rumours have been rife before regarding the one-time England wonderkid, but this time it feels different.

I was tipped off by an aquaintance who’s MUFC yesterday, now it’s all over the news today and even on the back page of The Scum tomorrow (Apologies for even mentioning that particular bumwiper here, but them covering it just shows how much this story is growing).

Could he do a job? Fuck knows, but it would bring a lot of publicity down to Sussex, and might lighten the mood after Vicente has turned out to be permanently missing in action. Of course, having TWO supremely gifted but aging crocks sat in the stands isn’t what anyone wants.

But before all that, let’s just see if it turns out to be true, or more pie in the sky, like it was last summer.

Stone Island 30 year anniversary

January 20, 2012 by

Stone Island, the Italian clothing label, is 30 years old this year. Set up in 1982 by the late Massimo Osti as a diffusion line to his main CP Company label, the brand with the compass patch on the upper arm is perhaps (for better or worse) more synonymous with football culture than any other.

For many, that is to it’s eternal detriment, and no book/film/spoof about ‘casuals’ made today will be complete without at least one bonehead sporting a SI jacket. But you shouldn’t let that put you off, because Stone Island have and still produce top quality, innovative clothing. As the tired old cliche goes, it ain’t what you wear it’s how you wear it – and that is especially true with this brand. The beauty of SI is that the little compass – that symbol the British Police laughably tried to link to fascism – can easily be unbuttoned and put away somewhere safe. You still have your nice jacket on, but won’t receive unwanted attention from the police or the aforementioned bonehead fraternity. That’s my personal take on it anyway.

For the anniversary, Stone Island are releasing a few bits and pieces to commemorate 30 years in the business. In the vid above, head honcho Carlo Rivetti, who seems an affable chap even if I can only follow him in subtitles, explains what’s coming up. If I’m honest the three garments in the video do nothing for me, there may be other stuff coming too, but he mentions publishing a book that will document the whole Stone Island range, now that I will be looking out for, definitely.

The one hot ticket

January 19, 2012 by

I’ve not anticipated a game of football as much as this for a long time. Forget visits from your Liverpools and Newcastles, noisy trips along the coast to Pompey or Southampton, this is the one every Albionite dreams of – Palace away in the league.

The general consensus is that we may have underachieved a little bit this season, while our friends from Croydon have definitely overachieved on their pre-season goal of staying alive in the Championship. They battered us at Falmer, no argument, but since then both clubs have peaked and troughed pretty much in mirror fashion, to the point that you couldn’t get a cigarette paper between us (in League form anyway).

This should be a belter, don’t ask me for predictions, just enjoy the occasion and perhaps eradicate the memory of that night of shame back in September.

TSLR 36

January 12, 2012 by

The latest production of The Seagull Love Review is out this Saturday at Falmer v Bristol City. The Albion’s only current fanzine is going from strength to strength this season, and that’s down to two things – 1, it’s a quality read, and 2, it gets great support from the fans of BHAFC. The price remains one pound, that’s a third of the price of the official matchday programme, so it’s always worth a punt.

I was going to attend the FA Cup replay at Wrexham next Tuesday night, but have to cry off because of transport problems, those of you who do go – have a good time. I know you will because Wrexham and the Albion are on a bit of a love-in at the minute, after their big weekend in our beautiful twin city recently. Enjoy the Brizzle match and hunt down a fanzine seller somewhere outside the stadium.

On late Christmas presents

January 3, 2012 by

Happy New Year friends. 2011 spluttered down like an old street drunk falling over into his own spew, December was particularly painful, like watching the Albion of old. There were even faint rumblings of dissatisfaction with Gus Poyet. But what a change a day makes. 3-0 at home against The Gopher-faced Physio and his team of cheating cunts. Bliss.

After the strangely uplifting defeat against Burnley on 17th December, yesterday rung the new year in with the most satisfying 90 mins I’ve yet to witness at Falmer. Fat Lambert walking on a straight red, and Dan Harding being tore a new arsehole by a resurgent Will Buckley, so much so that the gopher subbed him after 40 minutes. This game will live long in the memory. Man of the Match was Matty Sparrow, his second a thunderous effort that summed up the match. Notable performances from Jake Forster-Caskey on his full home debut, and LuaLua terrorised when needed. Great show.

That’s one late Chrimbo present. The other is this – the much-heralded sequel to Build a Bonfire, We Want Falmer. Steve North and Paul Hodson come up with the goods again, chronicling the struggle after the Goldstone fiasco, the wilderness years at Priestfield, then Withdean; The fight against those blue-rinsed bastards on Lewes Council, and finally, arriving at our lob-sided home on the Edge of the Downs – Falmer. It will be of no interest to non-Albionites, but it’s essential reading for all stripes fans. I read it in two days and feel much the better for it. In fact, it made that tonking of Nadkins et al all the more sweeter, knowing how much of a war it caused to be able to sit in the East Stand at Falmer and watch us stuff the Championship leaders.

A prosperous 2012 to you all.

Chrimbo reading

December 14, 2011 by

Burnley on Saturday is my first visit to Falmer since West Ham in October, shocking. There are new ‘Christmas Pies’ for sale at the ground, but more importantly The Seagull Love Review (TSLR) number 35 is out as well. The only BHAFC fanzine has really taken off since the move from Withdean, it seems the nu-fans also enjoy an irreverent Albion-ish read on the bog too. And why not? It’s a damn good read.

The mag will be for sale in and around the concourse outside, and it’s still just one pound a copy, great value. If like me you’re a bad fan and miss too many games, you can buy a copy online at TSLR’s blog.

As for the match itself, it’s a tough one, Burnley have a decent away record, and the Albion – well, we’re still adjusting to this division, there’s a big gulf between the Championship and League One. Accepting 7th place at this point would seem prudent, but when the scummers are doing so well it makes you wonder “What happened?”. But, we’re stalking the play-offs nicely, although I think even they might be a bridge too far this campaign.

Enjoy the match and buy the fanzine, Forza!!

Scouse mags and TK Maxx hunts

December 5, 2011 by

I just missed the Forest game on Saturday, travelling back home from work as I was. Seems the team have picked up again since I’ve been away. Win games even when you play bad – that just might keep us in with a shout of the play-offs, but I can’t see us thereabouts unless we get the whole squad back competing for places. To be honest we were a bit lucky with injuries last season. Our squad depth has been shown up at this level. Consolidate in the Championship this term, then have a tilt at the promotion slots next season would suit me fine.

I’ve been shopping lately since getting back too, I picked up these Gorilla Boots in TK Maxx for £40, and they beat shoes six times more expensive, very smart & comfortable. That new TK at the Clock Tower will get regular visits from now on. You’ve got to search like a Bombay bin hoker, but the odd quality label is lurking in among the dross.

The other buy is something I’ve always wanted to own, but it has only now been released as a complete issue – The End fanzine. Let me put it like this, when you pick up any fanzine at a match, a lad’s or music mag, you are reading something that was ultimately inspired by this legendary 1980s Liverpool ‘zine. It influenced everything in the new culture of ‘casual’ and went on to influence the mainstream media too. Scallys, Teds, Joe Wag, In’s and Out’s – The End brought them all to the wider music/beer/football crowd’s attention.

I only ever saw one original edition, in London in 1988, when a scouse mate had one in his bag and he flipped it to me to read. I’d never seen anything like it, and I’ve always wanted to get hold of all 20 issues, but it remained elusive, a legend spoke about in hushed tones among fanzine circles. Not anymore. It is a great read, and captured the very essence of ‘casual’ as it was back then, they were the first lot to be really ITK (In The Know). Pick a copy up here.

Checking in, fanzine’s out

November 17, 2011 by

Hello rat fans. I’m still far and away from home shores, but I’ve just got interweb facilities, so I’m checking up on all things Albion.

TSLR 34 is out this Saturday and available to buy in Scumhampton, home of that lovable South Coast Club – Stains FC. I haven’t seen the Albion lose at St Marys, and I’m not about to start this weekend either; saying that, I do fancy us getting something over there, they can’t keep that 100% home win run going ALL season, can they?

The latest fanzine is in TECHNICOLOUR, although my artwork (see above, that’s meant to be Liam Bridcutt by the way) is still in B&W for the fanzine purists among our TSLR readers.

I hope to be home again sometime before Xmas, but I haven’t a clue when. Good luck to those who are going to the match on Saturday, and make sure you put ONE POUNDAGE into the pocket of your nearest TSLR vendor.

It’s been a while…

October 22, 2011 by

…since I’ve updated this place. I’ve been busy elsewhere, and even though the Crystal Slum game was a choker (well done nifty fifty mate), it’s not the reason I’ve been avoiding updating the blog.

I got bored, match reports are ok if you’re Andy Naylor out of the Argus, I’m not and I think the writing was getting repetitive – even with the ‘A casual buy’ thread. Also, I forgot to set up payment for thehovian.com, missed the warnings from the web hosts to re-pay, and lost the domain, that’s why I’m now at http://thehovian.co.uk, and I’ve lost loads of readers because of it, but I’m not arsed, if they really want to find my shit they will (they probably won’t).

So, I’m away again from this weekend, meaning this will be the last new post for a while, here’s what I’ve been up to. Doing the cover for TSLR 33 (the best fanzine yet, coming after our disgrace v Palarse – that shows you that the best literature is inspired by human tragedy/comedy). Buying Propermag 11 (also best yet, my muckers Mark & Neil from Stockport have the best product of its kind out there – the ad for the compilation edition of The End nearly had me fainting with delight, it’s the Holy Grail for fanzine anoraks), and my latest commodity fetish addition: this Nespresso coffee maker (how very aspiring middle class of me). I’m a real Hove resident now with this sat in the kitchen, posh facker etc. I’ve knocked 3 in me today already and I’m like Buzz Lightyear on whizz.

So, that’s the long and short of it. The Hovian has had a sabbatical from posting shite on here, and will be off for a longer sojourn soon too. I will be back, but the blog will change. How? I’m not 100% sure yet. Swally Ho.

Albion 3 – 3 Leeds

September 24, 2011 by

It wasn’t a night for dicky hearts at Falmer last night. A scintillating game of football that had me out of my seat all night.

The Leeds away crowd were great, best banter at the Amex yet. Loads of big fat Yorkies with no tops on screaming abuse and singing their hearts out. They were almost as entertaining as the match itself.

Almost identical to the Liverpool game, we didn’t turn up in the first half, and Leeds punished us more than the Premier League outfit as a result. Second half started with Nooney replaced by the dagger, and Vicente was ace. We battered Leeds, a complete turnaround from the first 45. Vicente was pulling the strings and LuaLua, Barnes and CMS had a great performance each.

Mackail-Smith’s first was a beautiful turn and finish, and he rounded off his man of the match run out with a second and winning a penalty which Barnes put away easily, he does take a good penalty.

Leeds were allowed to come at us for the last 5, and Ankergren inexplicably punted the ball down to his opposite number Lonergan in the Leeds goal. Lonergan hoofed it back and it ended up in front of McCormack who tucked it away with 94 minutes up of the 95. Lumps of blubber exploded in the away end and Leeds sneaked a draw when they looked down and out.

Great game, but I felt we gave away three points when we had fought so hard to take the lead. Southampton and Middlesbrough drew today though, so we’re still very much in the mix and it’s Crystal Palace Tuesday night, with Glenn Murray fully fit. I cannot wait.

The Hovian’s Team performance : 7.5 out 10

The Hovian’s Man of the Match : Craig Mackail-Smith

Attendance: 20,646 (2,361 Leeds United)

As it stands - Championship table

Projected table based on latest scores

Position Team P GD PTS
Full Championship table
1 Southampton 8 10 19
2 Middlesbrough 8 8 18
3 Derby 8 7 18
4 West Ham 8 9 17
5 Brighton 8 6 17
6 Hull 8 -1 13
7 Cardiff 7 3 12
8 Blackpool 8 2 12
9 Leeds 8 1 11
10 Leicester 7 0 11
11 Peterborough 8 3 10
12 Crystal Palace 8 0 10
13 Ipswich 8 -5 10
14 Portsmouth 8 -1 9
15 Reading 8 -1 8
16 Birmingham 7 -2 8
17 Barnsley 8 -2 8
18 Watford 8 -3 8
19 Millwall 8 -5 7
20 Burnley 7 -4 6
21 Coventry 8 -4 6
22 Nott’m Forest 8 -6 6
23 Bristol City 8 -6 6
24 Doncaster 8 -9 4

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