Archive for November, 2009

Cup Fever!!

November 29, 2009
Are the Albion off on a cup run this season?

Who's up for an Albion cup run this season?

Stockport County or Torquay v Brighton

I wanted a shitty draw to be fair – a winnable fixture so we can progress and maybes get a Premiershit team away in the fourth round when I’m home again. And Stockport or Torquay away is very winnable indeed! Oh yes.

These two will play their re-scheduled match on 8th December, I think I’ve got my FA Cup mojo back.

Albion 3 – 2 Rushden & Diamonds

November 28, 2009

A bit of cup respite this afternoon – I expect the Albion to hammer this conference team. Hopefully we can progress and get a plumb tie when the big boys come in for the third round draw. I’m busy tonight, so will miss bits of the game, so no scoring the performance – which is a joke itself as I have to listen in on Player! But who gives a shit? It’s only a blog after all! UP THE ALBION!

Dickinson scores in the third minute as I head out the door. I want a cricket score today. Rushden equalise on 14mins, then Nicky Forster bangs in his 11th goal of the season. Diamonds score again just before half-time, the return of Adam Virgo doesn’t seem to have improved the quality of our comedy defence.

Gary Hart makes his 400th appearance for the Albion off the bench, replacing Mcleod at right midfield, fantastic effort from OGH – a legend. My god we are shite, Rushden sound more likely to score. A return match beckons at…where the fuck is Rushden anyway? It’s on the blow, and Dickinson gets set up by Fozzy and BANG!!! we get a jammy goal against the run of play. Spawny gets Albion. Who are we  gonna get in round three – please, please, please – Manure or Chelski away. Night.

Albion Team (goalscorers in bold):

(4-4-2) Smith; Hoyte, Virgo, Elphick, El-Abd; Bennett, Crofts, Navarro (Dicker 60), McLeod (Hart 50) ; Forster, Dickinson (2)

Subs: Pelling (GK), Wright, Cox, Tunnicliffe, Hart, Dicker, C Davies.

Norwich 4 – 1 Albion

November 24, 2009

Round two of our back to back games against League One’s triumvirate of ex-Premiershit “Big Boys” tonight. After, frankly, what was a football lesson against the whippet-worrying dole scum (that’s Leeds United to you) on Saturday, this should be a tough night for the Seagulls. But, we are good away, and the boys seem to relish playing in the big stadiums, so it’s all up for grabs. I’ll stick my neck out and go for a sneaky 1-0 to us. Gavin Hoyte returns from his three match ban to sit on the bench and no Nicky Forster!!! Dickinson starts with Murray up front.

Three minutes, 1-0 to Norwich, fuck me ragged. Tunnicliffe didn’t clear and they get a tap-in at the far post. Dickinson is sounding lively, getting amongst them. Crofts has one saved, we’re still well in this match. Norwich hit the bar – hoofing game! Cox gives it away, bang! 2-0, that should be it folks. Wankers.

PUNCH UP!!! Both teams scrapping in the centre of the park. Cox is having a ‘mare, gets booked for starting the melee with his foul. Can’t see him starting the second half. Disallowed goal for Norwich, we are going to get mauled here tonight folks, we are shite. Half-time, a pretty sad act.

Cox is off, McLeod on. Adam El-Abd, the much maligned utility defender is having a good game here, good on him. TUNNICLIFFE!!!!!!! 2-1!!!! McLeod wins a corner, a scramble and Tunny bangs it in. Ah fuck off! Own goal – Elphick, although it seems he might have been fouled. 3-1 to City. Goodnight and God bless.

It’s looking like a bad night all-round for us tonight, all our relegation contenders apart from Stockport are doing well. It’s now 4-1 on 81 minutes, Smith should have saved, boy do we miss Kuipers. Shocking. Murray goes off for Davieees. Hoyte gets a run out for the last pitiful five minutes, replacing Whing. It’s ten past two in the morning here in Kabul, I’m up at 7am for a full day’s work – worth staying up for and a red-eye day tomorrow…….? I still say yes. We are a long way off the standard required to progress from this league, Leeds and now Norwich have showed us how it’s done. Next up is Charlton – oh dear. Well played to Bomber El-Abd, my Man of the Match. I’m off for a shite night’s kip. Toodle Pip.

The Hovian’s Albion Team Performance :   3 out of 10

The Hovian’s Albion Man of the Match : Adam El-Abd

Albion Team (goalscorers in bold):

(4-4-2) Smith; Whing (Hoyte 85), Elphick, Tunnicliffe, El-Abd; Bennett, Crofts, Dicker, Cox (McLeod 45); Murray (Davieeeees 83), Dickinson

Subs:  Pelling, McLeod, Virgo, C Davies, Navarro, Hart, Hoyte

Of Mice and Scummy Men

November 22, 2009
Saints' Top Boys rally the troops for a toe to toe with the hated Sussex Gayers

Saints' Top Boys rally the troops for a proper toe-to-toe with the hated Sussex Gayers

Here they are, the pictures I promised of our away win at Southampton last week (Sunday 15th). We started off in Yates’s Wine Lodge not far from Central Station. Not wanting or expecting a quiet drink, the Seagulls away fans started the day off well with a good few ales and plenty of singing. Of course the police were in heavy attendance outside, albeit in good humour and using nothing more than good-natured banter.

A few young Scummers were seen to be turned away from trying to get in close to the Albion crowd lolling in and around the pub, but the wife and I stayed on too long and had to join the police escort of away fans up to St Mary’s Stadium at about 4:10pm. Here (above) is the first effort of the so-called local “firm” trying to get in close and have a dig at the now very noisy and slow moving Albion crowd. The dogs were going crazy, but it really was handbags at ten paces at this point.

I love that scene in Black Hawk Down when the US Army Rangers are moving in file up a road in Mogadishu, all the while the militia are moving parallel to them along the next street. Well, a few determined Scummers were shadowing us like that too, popping their inbred faces up now and again at intersections and giving it the lemon. Silly buggers, look at them.

I knew it would kick off outside the Saints’ main matchday pub near the ground – the King Alfred – and right enough, the peelers were mob-handed here as all manner of knuckle-draggers bowled out to greet us as the “Al-bion, Aaal-bion!” chants went up. A  couple of Seagulls got their trews shortened by the Old Bill alsatians, a few digs (nearly) got thrown, and the “gay bastards” insults were flying. Oooh I could have ripped a paper tissue I was so excited!

We went our separate ways on the bridge, and you can see the roof of the ground by now. The handbags were folded into armpits for now in a Les Dawson stylee.

I’ve already reported on the match itself – WE LEATHERED ‘EM! – and we also drowned out their somnambulant “support”. After the game the two of us hurried back to the station, avoiding the police escort, so we could get the quickest train back to Pompey (a mate was putting us up) to celebrate our tremendous win.


On the way and from nowhere (well, the University grounds) came a mob of about 50 hoodies, baying for the blood of the nancy Brighton boys. They terrified me, and they’ll be even scarier in 4 years’ time when they start shaving. I was getting pissed off with these sad bastards now, and felt like hitting someone myself. “Are you a Saint?” they were interrogating passersby, “No, I’m a Sinner!” I wanted to shout and then chin one of the little wankers, but the police rocked up again, video-camera lights blazing and they herded this…em, herd, against some wall.


We were off shortly after on the Fratton-bound train with a lot of happy, if relieved looking, Albion shirts and scarfers. A great day out, but Football Factory it certainly wasn’t. Silly Scummers.




Albion 0 – 3 Leeds

November 21, 2009

The Big One. Like them or loathe them (personally I hate the arrogant Yorkshire twats) you have to admit they don’t come bigger than Leeds in this league. Forget our shock away triumph at Scumhampton last Sunday – this game, this is the final test of how good Gus Poyet is, and how much he has invigorated our hitherto shite team.

A draw will do for me, a win will be fantastic but I can’t see us inflicting a second defeat on Leeds this season. Poyet in charge is an extra edge to this fixture, but form suggests we will struggle this afternoon. I wish I was at home to watch it, but I’ll hopefully (I might be busier later today) listen in on Player, biting my fingers to the quick.

Quiet start, Forster gets a shot away on ten minutes, goes wide. Smith saves well from Kilkenny, flag was up though. Leeds pressuring us, we need to get hold of the ball and keep it boring. Leeds score, left foot shot, 1-0 to the whippet-worrying dole scum. Smith out of position? Leeds hit the post straightaway, keep it cool lads. Murray heads wide from a Cox cross. Beckford scores three minutes from the break, game over I think.

Second half, a lot better from the Albion; Dicker and Crofts putting a foot on the ball, a sneaky goal might stir it all up again…..COME ON!!!!! Albion nearly score! Cox feeds Murray and he puts it wide. Leeds have taken the foot off the pedal, can this game offer us up something yet? Double substitution on 70 minutes – Navarro for Cox and Hart for Whing, Bennett drops back to right back, how’s this going to work?

Aaaaaah, gonna miss the last 15 minutes, I’ve been called out on a job, maybe we’ll score three when I’m away?

Ah, we were stuffed 3-0 then, nevermind, Leeds aren’t even breaking sweat at this level. We, on the other hand, are hovering precariously again just above the League One trap door. Nighty night.

The Hovian’s Albion Team Performance :  5 out of 10

The Hovian’s Albion Man of the Match : Not sure about my Mom today

Albion Team (goalscorers in bold):

(4-4-2) Smith; Whing (Hart 70), Elphick, Tunnicliffe, El-Abd (C Davieees 80); Bennett, Crofts, Dicker, Cox (Navarro 70); Murray, Forster

Subs:  Pelling, Livermore, Virgo, C Davies, Navarro, Hart, McLeod

League One table

Saturday, 21 November 2009 17:07 UK

Position Team P GD PTS
Full League One table
1 Leeds United 16 24 39
2 Charlton 17 13 33
3 Huddersfield 17 20 30
4 Colchester 17 13 30
5 Norwich 17 10 29
6 MK Dons 17 0 29
7 Bristol Rovers 17 -1 28
8 Millwall 17 8 25
9 Swindon 16 0 25
10 Walsall 17 1 24
11 Southend 17 2 23
12 Hartlepool 17 1 23
13 Yeovil 17 -1 22
14 Oldham 17 -3 21
15 Exeter 17 -4 21
16 Brentford 17 -5 19
17 Leyton Orient 17 -11 19
18 Gillingham 17 -4 18
19 Carlisle 17 -5 17
20 Brighton 17 -10 17
21 Stockport 17 -15 14
22 Southampton 17 5 13
23 Wycombe 17 -14 11
24 Tranmere 17 -24 10

Albion 2 – 0 Wycombe

November 18, 2009

I won’t be at Withdean tonight to collect my free Hola Gus! T-shirt. I won’t even be listening in on radio or on Seagulls Player. Why not??? Well, this is my last night at home before I fly to Dubai tomorrow, then on to Afghanistan on Friday. The wife thought it would be better spent together, at home, and not be interrupted by the Albion’s first home game under the Great One. I have to agree (although if it was a league game she’d be sat in her new T-shirt in the rain at Withdean beside me!).

I predict Albion hammering Wycombe tonight, and I’ll probably have to pick up a Hola Gus! T-shirt at the club shop or on eBay. Bollocks.

I managed to keep an eye on the laptop and the BBC football updates, the other eye on the telly. A goal each for midfield maestros Crofts and Bennett, and what looked like a comfortable home win. I’ll speak again soon from Kabul, laters.

Southampton 1 – 3 Albion

November 16, 2009

Cracking. Put it down to Gus Poyet. Whether it was his brief spells of coaching this week, or the fact individual players were trying hard to impress the new boss – we were good yesterday, brilliant even, almost a different team. I don’t think we deserved to run out of Scumland (more of which in a later post) 3-1 winners, but we rode our luck for a change and defended stoutly – I haven’t said that once this season.

Albion goalscorer and Man of the Match - Andrew CroftsI won’t go on about this one too much, as even our armchair and faraway fans got a chance to watch it on the telly, but I will rate each player briefly.

Kuipers – mad as a fish, but had an inspired game, his kicking is still bad though. Whing – welcome return and solid enough from ginge, unlucky over the penalty shout. Elphick and Tunnicliffe – Elphick looked class, Tunnicliffe aided and abetted well. El-Abd – hard in the tackle, but hoofed it in the second half too much.

Bennett – unusually quiet and ineffective from him, it won’t last. Dicker – the odd wayward pass but a very classy midfielder who stuck at it when they came at us with everything second half. Crofts – new skipper (shock!) and it obviously inspired him to man of the match, his turn in the first half, leaving three Saints players standing was ace, as was his goal sealing the game when it looked like they would score. Cox – fantastic effort skinning Harding (snigger) and crossing for Murray’s first, we all know he can do it, maybe Poyet’s flair has rubbed off on the little fella.

Forster – deserved to score, had a good niggly game with their big dirty bastard at centre back. Glenn Murray – say what you want about the big guy – and ALL Seagulls fans have said plenty about him – he was on the money at Saints, almost my man of the match.

The subs – each did their job, with Dickinson being the most annoying I’m sure for Saints fans, with his big gangly awkward style frustrating and holding the ball well.

Albion double goalscorer - Glenn Murray

So, there you have it, a great start, it was a bit flattering, but I’m sure the Scummers didn’t expect too much from our team before kick-off. A big round of applause to the travelling Seagulls too – it was almost like Wembley in the Northam Stand yesterday with all that noise. I’ll talk more about events surrounding the game, and the antics of a few window lickers who think they’re well ‘ard and follow Saints, but I’ll write about that later in the week. Enjoy it, Leeds on Saturday will show how much Poyet has really worked his magic (forget Wycombe Wednesday night).

The Hovian’s Albion Team Performance : 9 out of 10

The Hovian’s Albion Man of the Match : Andrew Crofts

Albion Team (goalscorers in bold):

(4-4-2) Kuipers; Whing, Elphick, Tunnicliffe, El-Abd; Bennett (Navarro 60), Crofts, Dicker, Cox (Hart 60); Murray (2), Forster (Dickinson 75)

Subs:  Smith, Livermore, Virgo, C Davies, Navarro, Hart, Dickinson

League One table

Monday, 16 November 2009 00:00 UK

Position Team P GD PTS
Full League One table
1 Leeds United 15 21 36
2 Charlton 16 13 32
3 Colchester 16 13 29
4 MK Dons 16 1 29
5 Norwich 16 10 28
6 Huddersfield 16 19 27
7 Millwall 16 10 25
8 Bristol Rovers 16 -2 25
9 Hartlepool 16 2 23
10 Walsall 16 1 23
11 Swindon 15 -1 22
12 Yeovil 16 -1 21
13 Southend 16 1 20
14 Oldham 16 -3 20
15 Gillingham 16 -3 18
16 Brentford 16 -5 18
17 Exeter 16 -6 18
18 Carlisle 16 -4 17
19 Brighton 16 -7 17
20 Leyton Orient 16 -12 16
21 Stockport 16 -13 14
22 Southampton 16 5 12
23 Tranmere 16 -23 10
24 Wycombe 16 -16 8

It’s Poyet!!!!!!

November 10, 2009

Flair, FLAIR, FLAIR!!!!! I’ve just come home at 12:30pm today after getting soaked shopping in Brighton. I switch on Sky Sports News and they tell me the next manager of Brighton and Hove Albion will be Gustavo Augusto Poyet Domínguez, or “Gus” as we all know him. I’m chuffed to bits, a real character to come and give this tired old club a good kick up the arse. Risky appointment? Fuck yeah, but Tony Bloom is a gambler, and this is the kind of bet any football fan would relish. Quote me “happy”.

Wycombe 4 – 4 Albion

November 7, 2009

I missed this FA Cup first round match, and what a cracker. Gavin Hoyte sent off (I think that’s six red cards for the Albion this season now), Nicky Forster scores his tenth goal of the season, and Glenn Murray gets a brace. Nothing dull about this team eh?

Martin Hinshelwood

Hinsh carrys on the Albion madness at Wycombe

The reason for my absence? I was at Falmer High School all day, attending my FA Level 1 in coaching football course. It was a good laugh, and even the big shiny skeleton of  a new stadium going up behind the University of Brighton site didn’t put me off my game too much.

Albion Team (goalscorers in bold):

(4-4-2) Smith; Hoyte, Virgo, Elphick, El-Abd; Bennett, Crofts, Dicker, Cox; Forster (Davies 73), Murray (2)

Subs: Kuipers, Navarro, McLeod, Tunnicliffe, Livermore, C Barker.

Coppell says no

November 5, 2009

Steve Coppell, the fans’ favourite to take over from Russell Slade has said no to the club. Who are we going to get now? Martin Hinshelwood will be in caretaker charge for the FA Cup game at Wycombe this Saturday, so are we going to see our new manager revealed at Saints the following week? Hope so, because I’ve two tickets for that one stuck safely away in my man drawer in the kitchen – could be a historic game folks!


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